


Dressed To The Nines

by PageofD



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: M/M, Non-Binary Juno?, and nureyev and rita are only mentioned, its just 1.5k of juno getting dolled up cause i was bored, look im posting this from my phone and idk what im doin hahha, look its only jupeter in passing, maybe? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-11 11:40:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11147664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PageofD/pseuds/PageofD
Summary: The whiskey was set on top of his dresser as Juno picked up the dress from his bed, rubbing the silken material between his fingers before he grabbed for the shoulder straps, slipping the dress down to pool on the floor so he could step into it.---Juno gets dressed to seduce a guy(or somethin)





	Dressed To The Nines

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aleph_Null](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aleph_Null/gifts).



> Long time no see, right guys?  
> Its been a long time since I wrote anything but hey I pulled this outta my ass last night and I figured I should post it while I'm feeling good about it.
> 
> This one goes out to my babe, he's been a huge support to me, recently especially, and I appreciate the heckie outta him and love him to the moon and back so  
> yeah

Juno slid his feet into the stockings he'd chosen and stood slowly, wriggling his toes just to feel the sheerness of the elastic against them. He fumbled behind him for the suspender clips, trying blindly to fasten them in place, stretching his arm backwards and failing again and again to get the clip done.

Eventually enough was enough, and with a defeated sigh the detective stomped over to his mirror, turning his back to it and looking over his shoulder in an attempt to get the suspender clips fastened once more. The position made it no easier to complete the task, though it did make it easier for him to see what he was doing, and where he was missing, so Juno managed to get the clips done without too much more fuss.

But that was just the one part of his complete outfit for the evening. 

There was still a flowing dress, with a low-plunging neckline in both the front and back, to go, and a pair of intimidatingly high heels to match. And that was all without Juno trying to work out where to fit his blaster in. 

Juno growled, wondering once more why he was doing this to himself, and glanced at the clock, relieved that he at least had another hour to get his outfit together.

Juno quickly fastened the suspender clips to the front of his stockings, running his hands over the rich satin of the suspender belt, and the decorative lace that was supposedly providing a modicum of decency to the underwear he was wearing. With a disparaging glance at the dress laid out on his bed, Juno padded over to the heels, figuring he should get used to walking in them before he left his apartment. Juno plopped down onto his bed, picking the heels up one at a time and hooking the midnight-blue shoes onto his feet one at a time, tapping his toes against the carpet and standing slowly. He wobbled for a moment, stretching his hand out behind him to catch him should he fall, but Juno regained his balance quickly and started walking through to his bathroom, sliding onto the seat he'd put in front of his mirror and staring at the spread of make up there. Some of it, the foundation, eyeliner, and maybe 3 of the lipsticks was Juno's own, the rest was borrowed from Rita that day.

This, at least, Juno was a pro at. Even though he only wore a minimum eyeliner and lip gloss in his day-to-day life, Juno knew how to put on a full face of makeup in 10 minutes or less, and without having to redo any of it. 

The process was relaxing for Juno, the methodical step-by-step nature of make up easing the permanent scowl off his face and making his shoulders drop from their on-guard position. He smoothed foundation on his cheeks and chin, rubbing the cream in thoroughly and giving a light brush of powder to seal it all off before he started trying to choose an eyeshadow to use, and a lipstick to match.

Juno flipped through the cases and cases of lipstick Rita had dropped off earlier that afternoon, tapping his toes against the bathroom tiles while he thought, and eventually getting up and pacing the length of the room, chewing on his lip and enjoying the power he felt as he heard his heels clicking on the tiles. 

Juno slipped into his sultry walk with ease as he paced, his legs crossing over more and hips swinging, smirking to himself as he imagined the look that would cross Nureyev's face when he entered the room, the way Peter's eyes would run down the length of Juno's body, fixating first on the detective's legs, then hips and finally lips. They'd done this dance enough times that Juno knew exactly what Nureyev would focus on and how to use that to his advantage.

"Purple." Juno decided suddenly, freezing mid-step and rushing to the counter, picking out a deep purple lipstick, and a light gloss to layer over it. He slip back into his seat, leaning forward over the counter and taking his time applying the make up, making sure each stroke was perfectly executed before starting the next, continuing in that way until his lips were smoothly coloured and glossed. Juno smirked at his reflection and picked up an eye shadow pallet, one of Rita's absurd purchases, who really needs 30 shades of purple eye shadow in one tray? But for once, Juno was glad of Rita's buying choices. He had a range of options that would work with his lipstick, and he could blend them all to his liking.

Juno chose two shades of purple, blending them across his eyelid until he had a light shade on the lid itself and a darker shade, an almost perfect match his lipstick, on the outer edges. When he was happy with the blending, Juno used a delicate hand to line his eyes in black, a line a touch thicker than he would usually wear, and used an even more delicate hand to add just the barest hint of mascara to his eyelashes.

Juno stared at himself in the mirror, trying to decide if he was satisfied or not with the make up. When he decided he was, after the tiniest bit of adjustment on the eyeliner and a dash of lip liner, Juno reached behind him to tug at his hair, trying to release it from the tightly-bound bun he wore it in for work.

Juno's hair cascaded down his back, unwinding slowly as he brought the snapped band around in front of him, scowling at it and throwing it aside.

"There goes another one. Shit." Juno muttered, untwisting his hair and fluffing it out around him, letting its curls spring back into their natural shape. He would regret it later, he knew. It was impossible to brush when he left it out, but for the purposes of the evening, it would do wonders to leave his hair out.

Hair and makeup done, Juno left the bathroom, glancing at the clock as he walked straight through to the kitchen, pouring himself a half glass of whiskey to sip at as he tried to get the dress to sit right before he had to leave. Juno walked back to his bedroom slowly, savouring each click of his heels against his synth-wood floor before he stepped onto carpet again.

The whiskey was set on top of his dresser as Juno picked up the dress from his bed, rubbing the silken material between his fingers before he grabbed for the shoulder straps, slipping the dress down to pool on the floor so he could step into it. 

Juno balanced his toes on the tiny patch of carpet visible in the swathes of the dress' material, pulling the dress up his body quickly so he could let his heels fall without fear of catching a vital part of the dress under his foot.

When the straps were hooked on his shoulders, Juno took a gulp of his whiskey and stepped in front of his mirror, twisting back and forth and examining his reflection.

There was a lot of loose fabric, artfully bunched where Juno's breasts would be, if he had them, and ending where the neckline became a v, just above Juno's belly button. The skirt of the dress flowed like water, silken and smooth and a dark dark blue to match Juno's shoes, like a river at night, or the night sky back on Earth. There was excess fabric pooled around Juno's feet, but as he stepped back and forth in front of his bed, and back out to the kitchen for more whiskey, Juno found he didn't trip on it once, it was so perfectly shaped, allowing an absolute freedom of movement despite its appearance.

Juno smoothed his hands over his thighs, feeling the softness of the dress and the sheerness of his stockings, as he glanced at the time once more. 

Juno sighed to himself. He only had five minutes left and he hadn't worked out a way to fit his blaster into his outfit.

"Oh well." Juno headed back to his bedroom to grab the shawl and purse that he'd bought to go with the dress, draping the shawl over his shoulders and opening the purse as he made his way to the apartment door. Juno paused in his entryway, scooping his keys and comms off his bench and slipping them into his purse, starting to fasten it before he noticed his blaster, sitting there all on its lonesome. "Oh, to hell with it." 

Juno left his apartment, shutting and locking the door behind him, and spending the elevator ride to the parking garage trying to wedge his blaster into his purse.

**Author's Note:**

> Also hey check me out on tumblr  
> And hey while I'm here my babe and I have a podcast we're doing so maybe check it out? You can find it on [this tumblr.](http://writinginthelab.tumblr.com)
> 
> Thanks for reading! :))


End file.
